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Faith in the process

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12/7/19 Today is December 7, 2019; and I do not have a job. I feel less than because of this circumstance. I will do some processing with this circumstance, and see what I can come up with. Circumstance: Not getting a job Thoughts: I am unworthy, why taking so long Feeling: worthless, unable to do for my family Action: Feeling sorry for myself, thought diarrhea Result: no forward movement, feeling unworthy, no change These ideas do not have to stay in my mind. I can change my mind, my thoughts with a flip of a switch. I have had three interviews. Two jobs I did not get. One was 50 minutes one way, so it is good that I did not get that job. And the previous one didn’t seem like a good fit. Today, I had a dream that I worked online, and I was happy. And I got the job I really wanted. It was so real, I could feel the freedom in my work, where I was able to talk to people online or on the phone when I was able to. And I was flexible with my work. Lord, what does that me...
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Jesus carrying me

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12/3/19 Lord, today you provided a roof over our head, food to eat, and a friend to share a walk with. Thank you, Lord, what a blessing! B came this morning and asked if I wanted to go walking/hiking while watching eagles. I was so blessed. It has been warmer the last few days, and the gray skies with white clouds and faded sun peaking through was a lovely backdrop to see the magnificent eagles. The eagles’ white tails and heads were difficult to see within the pine tree foliage. The hills across the lake were smattered with white dots. Across the lake, I saw a house with a blue awning, that had a tree right next to the house that was littered with eagles. I could only see white dots, which indicated there was a large family of eagles in the tree. The large, jagged rocks were littered with dead fish carcasses. As we rounded a point of land and larger boulders, the amount of fish we saw increased. Dead pink salmon flesh, fish heads with pointed teeth and fins were splattered aro...
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Thankful and grateful

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11/26/19 Today, I am contemplative again. Having this transition time is exciting, like being on a 55 mile-per-hour roller coaster…but it doesn’t stop. On roller coasters there are times I have been scared to death, exhilarated, and fearful all at once. Yesterday, I was really excited to get into telephone sales and began the process of learning about it. But then…but then! Today, my mindset is wavering in fear, trepidation, and lack of desire to move forward in this paradigm shift. I know over the years, I tried to do many things at the same time. I was a massage therapist, and also a massage instructor. I was pulled in both directions. This is how I feel today, like Elastgirl in the Incredibles movies. She can bend and stretch, and be in two places at once. She does move from place to place quickly. She often is pulled in many directions, that she doesn’t know what to do in each of the areas. Today, I got an interview for a nursing job in Spokane. It is for a hospice RN positio...
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Help in time of need

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11/18/19 Today, I attempted to get some software downloaded for Ignite Local. I will be a phone tree person who sets appointments for a sales team to discover if they need SEO/Google optimization or not. I see this may be a good opportunity, but have not been successful in downloading the software. R states “is this a sign?” which to me means is this right for you? I will see if I can get the software downloaded, maybe tomorrow AM. Talking to an IT person at the company, may take too long. I have an ENT apt soon, and need to be aware of my time. Today I uploaded my first IG TV video, lactation moment. I am proud I did something out of my comfort zone.   I think I have some good content to share, and am grateful for the free platform to do that. We had a family meeting last night. It was good to get the kids’ perspectives on this issue of me being unemployed. We have 2 months of rent, and some money for other bills. Tomorrow I will reach out to a food bank, and see what I ...
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Jeri's ponderings about life work vs jobs

Today I learned how to become a financial educator. A friend sells life assurance, which has elements of long-term life insurance, where you can put in a set amount and there are no caps on the products as well as no penalties for taking monies out. There are also death insurance and long-term care insurance in the products as well. Startup costs will be $350 for my insurance license. But then, possibly up to $100/mo to keep the tools needed for the business to thrive. I do not have any skill set in any of these areas. My friend, Dan, who I have known a long time is excited about it. But that is his bent. I have been in healthcare for 20 years, and have no legacy to show for it. Last night I went to an Innovative Collective Fireside Chat. The woman Jonie spoke about the plight of our food sources. She once worked in ICU as a nurse at my last organization. She too no longer worked there, but had a cookie business with whole sourced foods. She spoke a lot about how our food is source...
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Jeri's mindset

11/12/19 I guess I lost a day! I wrote my blog yesterday, which was actually 11/11/19. Today I woke with ambivalence and melancholy. My mindset changes from completely employee mode to freelance mode and finding my new path is challenging me. Deciding which new business path to take is one thing that is confusing me. One thing that was on my calendar today was a mindset/business coach webinar. They spoke about the shift it takes to accept and love yourself completely before you can move into business and make money. The world believes what you believe about yourself. R and I are reading the book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality today, which spoke about how the Lord loves you and accepts you no matter what. Why is that such a challenge to own? For me, I think those in my life that have questioned me, have shown me they don’t love and appreciate me has seeped it way into my heart and mind. Taking my last fifty years, I can name many circumstances that I have allowed to define me. Tha...
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The Journey continues

11/12/19 Lord, today I am seeing how desperate I am for You. In this new transition from full-time employment, to no income at all, I am seeing my mindset continues to need to be shifted. R and I had the beginning of a clipped conversation that was full of fear. Words like “I am afraid”, “back pain”, and “how…” were the thoughts being swirled around. Then I said we needed to get our thoughts and feelings above the circumstances of no income. Going from fear of “what are we going to do?” to faith-filled thoughts and feelings like let’s do more positive things then we have before. In our past, we have yelled, gotten tense, and not talked to one another during times of stress and strain. These reactions have not benefitted us. Today, I asked R to go for a walk, jog. The cool breeze and chilly air were refreshing. His back felt tight, which happens when he feels the weight of the world on him. Over the years, when finances or other relationship strain is evident, R’s back goes out. H...
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